The Zahir
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
I came across a Paolo Coelho book of this title when I, Dodz and Nikki spent time in Shang’s Powerbooks while we were waiting for the screening time of the film “The Da Vinci Code” (a relatively so-so movie, only compelling because of the hype it caused). The book defines zahir as someone or something you can’t just get off your head, a person or a thing you once encounter and the thought of it stays with you for quite a while, even forever (the term is Islamic, by the way). The book apparently caught me. As a matter of fact, I started reading it. What really struck me about the book, or the term for that matter, is the fact that I have realized how it can affect people in more ways than one.
My Shallow Zahir: Reality Shows
Okay, let me start off with something quite light. I have been “zahir-ed” by the outcomes of my two favorite reality shows’ finale the past week. I still can’t get over the fact that my bets won those two shows: Aras for Survivor- Exile Island and the hippies for The Amazing Race 9. I saw Aras’ victory coming, especially when he faced off with one of the season’s most disliked players (Danielle) for the final vote. I was also rejoicing all over the living room of our house when I saw Super Terry fall off the platform first during the final immunity challenge. Anyway, I believe Aras deserved to win, and his hairstyle is fantastic. Haha. I’ve been wearing the same hairstyle for a week now. Geez. Call me a fan.
Three days later came BJ and Tyler’s victory. This one, I was not expecting. The frat boys were really winner materials. However, I still rooted for these high-spirited dudes. And I indeed made the right choice. The hippies played a great game, defeated the lame frats in the final Roadblock, and won the million. I really luv’em. It was a delight watching them because of their funny antics. Goes to show how optimism and being intellectual can go a long way.
Still Zahir-ed by her
After reality shows, I go back to reality. It was Wednesday afternoon, and I was on my way home. I just was in shock that time, and was a bit subconscious the whole time. I was seated at the passenger seat of the jeepney, seated in such a way that one of my feet was outside the vehicle. The jeep was on its way to the University Ave, when a certain girl walking near the CMC Building caught my eyes. My God, it’s Kim. I nearly jumped out the jeep, thinking it really was her. However, when she came nearer, I realized my eyes just played tricks on me. It wasn’t her; the girl just wore the same cute smile I’ve always wanted to see again. Still zahir-ed by her? Yes, I am. But she’s happy now. And I should be happy for her. I’ll leave it that way so things can be better.
Undeserving to be a zahir
A friend, someone I’ve had quite an experience in the past, sent me this message yesterday:
“A love that was never given a chance is like a ghost that will haunt you forever. Even when you’re with someone else, it will always find its way to you and with endless thoughts of what could have been…”
I wasn’t sure what message she was trying to get across. Rest assured, she sent it to me, so it is for me. Had I become a zahir to her? I dunno. All I know is I don’t deserve to be one. I don’t deserve to be the zahir of someone I can’t consider my zahir in return. That’s just so unfair.
Darn. I hope I find my zahir someday. It would be a nice feeling, for once, to have a zahir and be a zahir for someone in return.
(Additional Notes: Pardon the mushy blog. I just felt the need to put these on writing. By the way, zahir in the Coelho book somewhat means “obsession”, but I used it tamely in this blog entry. Nikki and Dodz, it was a blast passing time in the mall and chilling at Jollibee-PhilCOA with you two. I’ll miss you guys.)
Chill everyone! Enjoy the remaining days of summer.
